Are you a victim of hidden bias at work?
In the September issue of the WATT® Report, our email newsletter for WATT® Network members, I shared my thoughts on How to Combat Hidden Bias if Your Goal is the Top Job. (Contact info@theWATTnetwork.com to learn how to join, subscribe or receive a complimentary copy.)
Have you been a victim of hidden bias? Share your comments here.
Do you think it's okay to cry at work?
I was recently asked this question: when it comes to crying at work is it okay or not? My response: No! Unless of course you’ve just received word that a family member or your dog died. Doesn’t matter who you are but especially for women.
I know. That’s all well and good, right? But the reality is sometimes we do reach a breaking point. That's when the tears well up from out of nowhere and when you least expect them, typically, at the most inopportune time. Like when you’re meeting with your boss.
On the phone with an irate customer? Tell them you need to do some research and will get back to them. Then go on a quick ‘walk about.’ Come back when your emotions have settled down.
Just had a disagreement with a co-worker or your boss? Take a break and down a glass of ice water and do whatever it takes to squelch the need to cry.
If you absolutely must cry, do it in private and bring whatever you are going to need to freshen up. Remember, you can cry all you want on your own time and in private, but in the work place tears are still a sign of weakness.
What are your views on crying at work? Share your comments here.
Is this a blow to aspiring women leaders?
In her ruling, the judge quoted former General Electric Chief Executive Jack Welch, who said, "there's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences."
You may be surprised to know that I agree with Jack Welch. For me, it's not about balance but how we integrate our work and our lives. Because we are all individuals, how we choose to do this will be different for each of us. Sure, there are things that companies can do to make this integration easier for women, but at the end of the day, it's up to us to negotiate what works best in our particular situation.
I think Amy Siskind, a former department head of distressed debt trading at Morgan Stanley, got it right. She said she "built up her franchise" with team members and powerful colleagues and as a result, was able to run her department while pregnant, leaving at 5:30 pm each day.
I liken it to making deposits into a bank account. The more deposits you make (i.e. investing in your franchise) then the more assets you will have available for withdrawal when you need them.
My point in all of this is that I don't think the dismissal of one lawsuit is a blow to aspiring women leaders, particularly those who refuse to accept victim status and focus on building their franchise.
What do you think? Post your comments here.
Did these articles get your attention? They got mine.
Yesterday I wrote about facing a career crossroads. This morning I've been doing some online reading and was struck by a few articles in the news that tie back to this topic in ways both large and small. I list them here with the nuggets gleaned from them.
1. Making Partner, Sponsorship & Gender Bias: having a strong sponsor is key if you want to move beyond gender bias, and be mindful of the "frames" from which you are viewed.
2. Carol Bartz Exclusive: Yahoo F - - ed Me Over: did you just cringe at the title? In the words of Carol Frohlinger, co-author of Nice Girls Just Don't Get It, "quit being a nice girl." Sometimes you need to just say it how it is.
3. When You Hit a Wall, Move Around It: the title says it all. Need I say more?
Have you faced a career crossroads? Tell me how you approached it here. 
Are you facing a career crossroads?
Does this sound familiar? You wake up tired. You push yourself to get your butt in gear to get dressed and get yourself off to work. Once there, you feel bored, anxious or frustrated, and you struggle to get focused. You wish you could be anywhere else but where you are. Boy, it's gonna be a long day.
Think you're depressed? Maybe, but think again. You may simply be at a career crossroads. Here are some of the signs that you may be at a crossroads: feeling unstimulated, unsatisfied, unfulfilled or under utilized. If you've been operating on auto-pilot and find yourself saying that you could do your job in your sleep, then it's likely you're at a career crossroads but may not know it.
It's hard to take action when you're feeling this way, isn't it? It just feels like too much work. When I experiened a career crossroads, I found that to figure out where I wanted to go next, I had to take a step back and get to know myself all over again. This included a lot of reflection time looking at not only what I've done, what I can do but more importantly, what I want to do.
My process involved a lot of personal self-reflection as well as more formal evaluation of my personal interests, attitudes, and values, among other things, and of course, my skills, strengths and motivators. To do this I used various assessments (too many to list here!) and other tools to help me clarify and get focused. I also worked with a coach.
Unfortunately, when many of us experience a career crossroads we want to skip this important step because, let's face it, it's some of the hardest work you'll ever do. Regardless of what approach you decide to take, the first step is recognizing the symptoms. The second, taking action.
Are you facing a craeer crossroads? Only you can know for sure, and what you ultimately decide to do about it is entirely up to you.
P.S. Join me for my interview with Karen Kodzik, author of Navigating Through "Now What?", The Various Career Crossroads in Our Lives, on September 15th at 12 noon CT. (Learn More)
Is "out" the new "in"?
I recently read an article by Bob Brody, guest blogger for CNBC. His recent article, I'm Out of the Office, But Please Feel Free to Bother Me, made me laugh right out loud. Anyone that has ever taken a vacation and tried to unplug should read this article!
On a more serious note, his comments on being accessible at all times are disconcerting at best. While said with tongue in cheek, Mr. Brody states, "So just between us, I’m actually at your service. I may be out, but I’m never out out, if you catch my drift, because out is technically the new in. In fact, consider me the very embodiment of round-the-clock availability. Right now I’m checking my BlackBerry while water skiing."
Clearly this is not healthy and he alludes to the impact this has had on his personal relationships. It brought to mind a story one of my colleagues told me. When she was having her baby she told me that she was closing a deal while in the delivery room. Really? I'm all about customer service but this was even a bit out there for me.
A few years ago I served as the President of an international professional association. I was passionate beyond words about this organization but it was like having a second full time job. I knew I had problems disconnecting when I was reviewing bylaws and other operational policies on the boat while on vacation. Needless to say my husband was not happy (and that's putting it nicely).
When I returned from vacation my new mantra became "no bylaws on the boat." It was a rally cry of sorts for me to remember that it's not healthy to work around the clock and that it's important to have downtime each and every day.
So, next time you're tempted to put your family and your personal life last, remember my rallying cry: no bylaws on the boat!
Is your job putting your health at risk?
According to a recent study, women who sit all day are putting their health at risk.
Women who sit for more than six hours a day (Is there any woman that doesn't?) have a 37% increased risk of premature death, compared to 18% for men. And guess what? The results don't change even when you factor in such things as your diet, your physical activity or whether or not you smoke. (Learn More Here)
Dr. Alpa Patel, senior epidemiologist at the American Cancer Society, lead author of the study, indicated that females who sat the longest and exercised the least had twice the risk of death compared with women who recorded more activity and less sitting. If that's not enough to motivate you to get up and move, I don't know what is!
In a recent post I talked about the "all or nothing" syndrome. Don't let this stand in the way of your health. When you're six feet under it's very difficult to fulfill your dreams and live up to your potential as a leader. Never mind leaving a legacy.
I hope you'll find a way to stand up for your health (literally) and perhaps when you do, you may find it's also easier to take a stand for other things that you find important too.
P.S. Join me September 15th for my interview with Karen Kodzik, author of Navigating Through "Now What:?" The Various Career Crossroads in Our Lives. (Learn More or Register)
Which comes first: the leaky pipeline or the glass ceiling?
I'm alway astonished by the lack of women at the top of organizations and the lack of female representation on boards, That made me think of this question. Which comes first: the leaky pipeline or the glass ceiling?
Marla Nelson, founder of WomEnterprise, says the pipeline continues to be a problem for women working in middle as well as senior management positions. “We still have a glass ceiling effect where it is difficult for women, firstly, to be paid on par with their male counterparts and, also, to achieve quite senior level positions,” she explained. “Now, without the women in those [roles], how on earth are we going to feed these women into board positions?”
According to Christina Ioannidis and Nicola Walther, co-authors of Your Loss: How to Win Back Your Female Talent, top performing business women are turning on their well-heeled shoes and walking out the door of some of the world’s best known companies. This in turn causes not only a shortage of women at senior level positions in organizations but a shortage of women who can be fed into the pipeline for board positions.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2010 women comprised 46.7% of the labor force. Further, 58.6% of all women 16 years and over were in the labor force, compared to 71.2% of all men. And finally, women comprised 51.5% of management, professional and related positions.
So that brings me back to my original question. Which comes first: the leaky pipeline or the glass ceiling?
What do you think? Please post your comments here! 
Who negotiates better: men or women?
I recently participated in an online discuss on this question and found there wasn't an easy answer because so many variables play into the question. One woman said, "For a skilled negotiator, the least salient characteristic about them is their gender."
My response was this, "While I agree with you in theory, the reality is that women negotiate far less than men do. Further, the studies show that both men and women excpect that women won't negotiate. That's why gender plays into the conversation. The more women are comfortable with negotiating, the more they will do it, and the less that gender will play an issue. Until then, there's some work to be done and gender will remain relevant to this conversation."
Who do you think negotiates better and why? Share your comments here. 
Are you guilty of the "all or nothing" syndrome?
I will tell yout that while it's frequently a matter of priority, more often than not, it's a matter of an "all or nothing mentailty." For example, I hear things like, "I feel lethargic and my clothes feel tight but I don't have an hour to workout," or "I know I'd feel better if I exercised but I don't have time to drive to the gym." Sound familiar?
This is the problem with an "all or nothing" mentality where we think in terms of doing things but only in big chunks of time. We either do it all or we do nothing. How sad is that?
Instead, replace that mentality with a "yes and .... mentality." It goes something like this. "Yes, I need to work out and I can start by walking 10 minutes a day on my lunch hour." I mean really. Can't we all carve out 10 minutes for better health particularly if it will make us feel more energized and our clothes fit better? I think so. Don't you?
Obviously this "yes and..." mentality can apply to a broad range of activities we know we should undertake but which we are forever burying under an "all or nothing" attitude. Think about how you can apply this to your personal or professional life.
Next time I talk to one of my coaching clients (or perhaps even one of you!) I hope instead of hearing the ever popular refrain, "I don't have time," that just one of them will tell me, "Yes Regina, I need to <fill in the blank> and I will <insert action to be taken>." If that happens, I'll be clicking my heels all day.
Regina Barr
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